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LINDSAY LOHAN WANTS A SECOND ACT

Lindsay Lohan is attempting to reignite her once white-hot, now sputtering career. Lohan sat down with Variety to discuss her hopes for her second act, launched via her new MTV reality show, Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club.

The show, which premiered Tuesday, follows her attempt to launch herself as a nightclub mogul in Mykonos.

After multiple stints in rehab, a 2007 arrest for a DUI, cocaine possession and a misdemeanor hit-and-run, then four more arrests, court hearings, jail time, a necklace-stealing scandal and multiple other well-documented humiliations, Lohan became the punchline for jokes about child actors gone bad, and she knows it.

She tells Variety: "The first time I was in a tabloid, I was like, ‘Oh, my God, I feel like Britney Spears!’ because she was in a tabloid and I felt cool. Little did I know what would happen from there."

Her spiral down from the A-list was swift, and she stopped being cast in films. So the 32-year-old left the U.S. for Dubai, where she lives full-time between trips to Greece to oversee her three clubs and an island she’s dubbed Lindsay Land. Her conversation about her desired career relaunch touched on a number of topics, outlined below.

ON PAST ABUSE:

"I was hit and abused physically on a beach in front of people, twice. And then at my house, and thank God a kid saw me and called the police. It’s a shame that people had to see that, but it’s not something that I feel is necessary to talk about. It’s something that happened to me, and I had to figure out how to handle it on my own. My eff-you was buying the beach."

ON MISTAKES IN THE PAST:

"But it’s in the past. I always say to people, ‘You do realize that was over 10 years ago?’ But it was definitely unfair and unjust at certain times, especially as a girl. I worked at the morgue as part of a judge’s ruling for violating probation after allegedly stealing a necklace. I’ve been through the ringer. It was horrible. But from those things, I became a lot stronger."

ON ACTING:

"I love acting. It’s my passion. But I like being behind the scenes. If I’m not filming at the moment, I need to be creative somehow. I can’t just sit and do nothing. If I’m not on a set, then I’d rather do something, so I started my own company — Seven Wonders Prods. — and I like that it’s just mine and that I don’t have to answer to people anymore. I can just do it myself. It’s nice to have that power back. I want to keep acting and maybe directing."

ON CAREER GOALS:

"To work with Martin Scorsese. Work with Steven Spielberg. I don’t know. I think goals are limitless, and there’s always going to be something new that I want to do. I just want to make people happy, and I want to stay happy."

ON FEMINISM:

"I’m just Lindsay Lohan. Whatever that is."

Perhaps predictably, Twitter is not on board LiLo 2. As many pointed out, it’s only been "a month" since she tried to "bait a migrant family into selling their kid."