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A BIZARRE MONTH AHEAD FOR MEGHAN MARKLE WITH CHRISTMAS WEIGH-INS & T-DAY TABOOS

The holidays are nigh, and Meghan Markle is about to celebrate her first Thanksgiving and Christmas as a royal. By all accounts, it’s going to be pretty weird.

THANKSGIVING

First up, T-day. Some question whether the American-born Meghan will be "allowed" to celebrate the holiday, seeing as it commemorates that time many English-born pilgrims set forth on a long and dangerous voyage to flee political and religious persecution in their homeland.

Last year, Meghan celebrated with her mother Doria Ragland in California. What will happen? TBD, but the Queen reportedly hasn’t forbidden a celebration by royal decree, and Meghan and Prince Harry don’t have any events scheduled for the day, so she may be indulging in turkey and stuffing behind closed doors?

CHRISTMAS

Meanwhile, hope she doesn’t eat too much gravy, because she will have to be weighed before her Christmas meal, per a juicy new report hailing from royal expert Ingrid Seward.

Apparently, every member of the royal family, including Harry, Prince William and Kate Middleton, must be weighed before and after dinner on Christmas Day.

Apparently, the Queen asks guests to weigh themselves to ensure they’re being "well fed."

Once weighed, the guests must enter the dining room "in order of seniority." Once seated, the head chef carves the turkey and "paper hats are donned, but not by the Queen."